The Wiwi Jury — our in-house panel of musical unprofessionals — continues its reviews in Norway with “All Over the World” by Tor and Bettan. Between the two of them, these returning ESC veterans have won the competition and scored nil points. How does the jury rate their comeback?
“All Over the World” – Tor & Bettan
Angus: This is basically “Go The Distance” from Hercules and I am 100% okay with that. This is ABBA, this is Agnetha’s last album, this is humanitarian pop music cheese and I am a complete sucker for it. Give a little joy, y’all!
Anthony: Two former Eurovision participants, both with contrasting fortunes, are reunited and decided to become part of a duo. If they’re trying to represent Norway this year, they’ve picked the wrong song. But it’s unlikely, as Tor and Bettan are probably here to celebrate Eurovision’s 60th anniversary in style. And they’ve got a song with a catchy chorus that’ll make full use of the live orchestra.
Colin: This song isn’t necessarily bad, it just sounds so old. Compared to the other duets in Melodi Grand Prix, it barely holds a candle. It will not make it to Eurovision no matter how well it is performed, just because this year is so competitive.
Deban: This sounds like an excerpt from a cheesy rock musical. It’s desperately trying to be anthemic, but in the process, comes off as rather formulaic. Considering that this is coming from two former Eurovision heavyweights, I am very disappointed.
Francheska: This is positively medieval. Seriously, it sounds like it belongs in an amateur choir group at a Renaissance fair. I get it that they are trying to show unity, be nice, and spread smiles across Europe, but the dated quality of the instrumentals is so much more offensive. Yet, it’s weirdly appealing. Maybe it’s the happiness of the track, or my inner desire to be nicer, but I’m hugely conflicted! Give me a couple of months to get my emotions sorted out!
James: Outdated. MIDI-file music. This is the biggest fail of a comeback we’ve seen. It deserves to be on a variety program – not in Vienna. Just no, sorry.
Josh: I both kind of love and kind of really hate this song. It’s nice to see both the singers back attempting to represent Norway again. I’m sure they are hoping the nul points scandal will be cancelled out by their overwhelming amount of prior success, but this song is so on the fence. I do come away from the song feeling a lot better though.
Max: This is what you would get if Disney made a film about senile prisoners. I love Bettan, and I really respect her spirit and ambition but I’m saddened that she’s attempting to get back to Eurovision with this cheese fest. It’s like a big lump of singing gorgonzola talking about harmony and peace on Earth! Totally predictatble, repetitive, and not what Norway should send in 2015. Shame.
Patrick: It’s so great to see Elisabeth Andreassen back on a Eurovision-related stage. She still knows how it works. Sadly the song is stuck in the ’80s-’90s and is reaaaaally dated. It’s a charming song though, lovely voices, great melody but yeah, just not 2015. I think there is no way that they will represent Norway.
Renske: Good to see them back! I love the fact that some artist in Norway are joining the party every year. Tor and Bettan prove that they are not too old for Eurovision, because nobody is too old for it (proven by the Russian Grannies). The song itself is quite old-fashioned, but still catchy. Already looking forward to this.
Robyn: So how’s this for ESC pedigree – one of the most successful performers (one win, one runner-up and two top-10 finishes) and one of Norway’s infamous nul points scorers. Put them together and what do you get? A very average song. “All Over the World” is a feelgood anthem, but it’s very old fashioned. It would be weird to send a song like this to Vienna, but it will be a fangirl treat seeing Tor and Bettan perform at MGP.
Sopon: Dated, dated, dated! It’s way too cheesy, and I might need a Lactate to be able to digest this one! This would have fit in perfectly maybe 15 years ago, when schlager and disco and peace ballads were all the rage in Eurovision. But most of us have moved on, and so do you, Bettan. This isn’t the best way to come back, and this isn’t the song for a former winner and second placer to maintain her record with.
Ramadan: This is so damn cheesy. How in the hell did this make it to MGP? If this was entered for ESC ’70s, it would probably get 0. I’ve never heard such a really dated song in my whole life.
The highest and lowest scores are removed before calculating the final score. We have dropped a low of 0 and a high of 8.
The Wiwi Jury Verdict: 4.77/10